The Ladybugs Have Turned Belligerent
by RulerofMischief
Summary: Well, the world has come to an end: WEEVIL IS LORD AND MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE! And um, our um... heroes? (practically everyone)have chosen to rebel. BOTH YAOI AND HETERO! SxS YYxY YBxYM MxJ PxVIO & more listed inside! Some spoilers. 4 up! Randomness!
1. Chapter 1: W007!

**Author Note: **This was taken down because it violated almost all of the rules of this website. Now it is back up, and follows everything this website stands for. I'm putting this back up, for the sake of my friendship with my dearest friend, Somebody Else.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything—neither does Mihoshi (Somebody Else).

* * *

**Plot:** Well, Weevil has taken over the world—but no need to fear! Yami will save the day!  
You do know how, don't you? (-Yuugi)  
(opens his mouth, then stops) (-Yami)  
Well, maybe not… Told from the diary entries of the highly opinionated Ryou Bakura, currently off his antidepressants and third person narrative during the adventures of the HETEROSEXUAL Thief Bakura. Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami Bakura, Yami Malik and Tristan's power tools.

* * *

**Genre: **Humor/Romance/Suspense/Horror/Supernatural/Science Fiction/Fantasy

* * *

**Parings:**

Yami no Yuugi/Yuugi (hinted) (SLASH!)  
Yami no Malik/Yami no Bakura (SLASH!)  
Anzu/Honda  
Pegasus/Various Inanimate Objects (Hey! We said it was weird.)  
Anzu/Pegasus (for a record time of _ONE- MINUTE!_)  
Shizuka/Seto  
Jounouchi/Mai  
Isis/Yami no Yuugi (one-sided)  
Isis/Dartz  
Honda/Otogi (SLASH!)  
Anzu/Siegfried

* * *

**Warning:** Rated M (R) (Restricted) Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami no Bakura, Yami no Malik and Tristan's power tools.

* * *

_-Imperfect __Paradise__ (Yamiko) & Somebody Else (Mihoshi)_

* * *

The Ladybugs Have Turned Belligerent  
-  
By Imperfect Paradise & Somebody Else

* * *

-  
-  
-  
-

* * *

**-Chapter One-  
**"W007!"

* * *

_Day I – _

Weevil somehow managed to take over the world and confiscate everyone's duel monster cards. I have no clue how he managed this, since he's ... well... an absolute moron. No, that would be insulting to Bandit Keith. Not that I care for the dullard, but you have to feel something akin to pity for a fool who was murdered by the king of _bugs_. The only rebels were myself (Ryou Bakura) and my Yami, Yugi and his Yami, Joey, Tristan, Duke, Kaiba, Mokuba, Pegasus, and Malik and Marik (Malik's Yami). Oh, and Mai, Serenity and Tea. Though they disappeared immediately upon arrival to establish a "feminine space" where they could do things that no man has any right to know the details of.

I worry that our supplies may not last. We have a lot of packaged food, but most of it is in cans and Joey traded the can opener to Marik for a rubrics cube. Marik has declared himself a sex god and is demanding that anyone who wants canned food must "worship" him. Our supplies will run out before the month is over, forcing us to turn to Marik. Of course, we might be able to entreat Pegasus to share his supplies, but he only brought comic books, a funny-bunny plushy, and wine. Well, if all else fails we can all commit suicide by way of alcohol poisoning.

However, I fear that before we can run out of supplies, the politics will destroy the precarious legal structure we have somehow (Not democratically, I assure you.) achieved within the past half hour. Yami (being the egotist that he is-- my dark half's words, not mine), has already claimed the role of 'Almighty' Pharaoh. Pegasus has gotten a mallet from somewhere and has declared himself the Supreme Judicial Officer. Which is just a fancy way of saying that if you fuck up, he's the one who'll sentence you. And bang his mallet. He REALLY likes banging his mallet. Yami said he appointed Pegasus as the judge since he is the oldest (which is ridiculous since he's only 24), but I suspect that he was bribed with wine. This could probably explain the plans he's been coming up with.

As I passed by him and Yugi, I overheard Yami's plan for vengeance against the almighty king and lord of insects-- and the world, (shudders) Weevil. This is pretty much how the situation went.

* * *

Yuugi sat up in chair and grinned, "Yami, I have put my trust in you— since you are the pharaoh and all— so anyway... You have come up with a plan, right?" 

Yami, however, didn't answer Yuugi at first. This was so because he was banging his head against the cavern wall. He eventually pulled away after ten repetitive bangs and turned to face Yuugi. He, looking quite disoriented, answered, "Yeah I have a— WAIT! Back to the drawing board... " With that, he continued banging for a few more minutes, Yuugi continuing to watch with a smile on his face. After about ten more bangs, he finally looked up and grinned as he spoke, "All right..."

With that, he reached into a bag on the far end of the table, drew out teeny little Japanese collectible figures of the Yu-Gi-Oh cast, and lined them all up on the table. He rubbed his hands together as he explained, "All right, we all run for Weevil's castle..." He pushed them all towards a little Lego castle. (where he got the Legos, I do not know)— which was only about two blocks because he was in a hurry) "We summon our strongest monsters"

With that, he threw Dark Magician, Red Eyes Black Dragon, Blue Eyes White Dragon, Harpy Lady Sisters, Relinquished and a bunch of other monsters towards what was 'supposed' to be Weevil's castle " ...and we launch an attack and destroy Weevil and the world will be restored to its peaceful state!" With that, he pounded his fist on the table once to emphasize what he believed would be his upcoming victory.

Yugi, however, stared at him awkwardly. After a small moment of silence, he clicked his tongue once and asked, "... Attack Weevil's castle?

Yami nodded once and answered immediately, "Yup."

Yugi continued to stare at him oddly. He asked, "With our monsters?"

"Uh-huh"

Yugi raised an eyebrow as he confirmed, "That is your plan?

Yami smiled triumphantly and answered, "That's it!"

Yugi then turned bouncy, smiled brightly and commented, "Well! I love it!" However, a thought entered his mind. He asked, "Say, how do we get our cards back?"

Yami opened his mouth… then stopped. He remained like this for several seconds.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

Immediately hearing it, Yami pointed into the air, getting everyone's attention and nearly shouted, "I'LL GET IT!" And with that, nearly sprinted for the door.

He ran over to it and threw it open. Standing, looking rather tired and annoyed was Dartz. Yes, the King of Atlantis and the former leader of the Doma Organization is boarding us underneath the ocean. He held his hand out, as though he were expecting something and muttered, "Rent please…."

Yami nodded, and then began going through his pockets. After fishing out a piece of lint, a block of bubble gum, and a Pokemon card, he finally found what he was looking for. He held the ten-dollar bill out before Dartz and grinned, "Here yah go!" And handed it over to him…

Dartz looked down at the single bill in his hand for a moment, pursing his lips. He then gave Yuugi a very blaw looking stare. He asked with a sort of "Are you bull-shitting me?" expression. "I let you and your pathetic group of friends hide in _my_ kingdom of Atlantis and _all _you give me is a ten dollar bill?"

Yami smiled, "Yup!"

With that, Dartz lost all sanity. He grinned madly, threw his arms up into the air and screamed, "W007!" He then ran out of the room, not giving Yami a second thought and declared, " LAS VEGAS, _HERE I COME!"_

With that, Yami walked back to the room. Very stupid mistake—at least for him. When he closed the door, Yuugi asked (once again) "So, about getting our cards back?"

Yami opened his mouth... and stopped for the second time that day. He thought, 'Crap.'

Yugi asked, looking somewhat concerned, "You do know how? ... Don't you?"

Yami moved the figures aside, about two feet away from the seemingly pathetic Lego castle. He stood there thinking for a moment.

After about two hours, he continued, that manic and wonderful Yami-goodness energy returning, "All right, we all run for Weevil's castle..." he pushed towards the stupid—I mean, Lego castle again. "We summon our strongest monsters—"

Yugi hissed looking away, "Oh for Christ's sake!"

* * *

As you can see, the pharaoh has lost it (fortunately, so has Dartz, but that's not the point). This worries me for more reasons then one, as he was supposed to be our only contact with the outside world by way of Isis. You see, she is supposed to keep us (Yami!) updated on Weevil's status and tell us (Yami!) when to come out of hiding and "smite him" (her words! I don't use the word "Smite" unless I'm talking about God, which Yami is not. Don't tell Isis I said that.) I have little faith in the future of our little rebellion if somebody does not beat some sense into our head political figure sometime soon. Unfortunately, I believe that things will get worse before they get better. If they get better. Oh, and I forgot all my anti- depressants back at my apartment. So, overall, life sucks. 

_End Diary Entry_

* * *

After reading the two un-read e-mails from Isis, Kaiba frowned as he logged out of Yami's account, muttering, "Idiot." 

He then logged onto media miners and grinned as he updated his NC-17 Fictions. The Language for these fictions is courtesy of four snickering second grade girls! Just like most other NC-17 fics on that site.

* * *

- TO BE CONTINUED-

* * *

**Random Note: **Stay tuned for the next chapter... Okay! I finally have the new format for all of my fictions. (Although, it isn't necessarily _new_ anymore, ah-hah-hah-hah! ; —sigh) 


	2. Chapter 2: Three Bakubunnies

**Disclaimer: **We don't own _Yu-Gi-Oh_. Please don't sue us… By the way... We don't own _Lord of the Rings, _either.

* * *

**Plot:** Well, Weevil has taken over the world—but no need to fear! Yami will save the day!  
You do know how, don't you? (-Yuugi)  
(opens his mouth, then stops) (-Yami)  
Well, maybe not… Told from the diary entries of the highly opinionated Ryou Bakura, currently off his antidepressants and third person narrative during the adventures of the HETEROSEXUAL Thief Bakura. Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami Bakura, Yami Malik and Tristan's power tools.

* * *

**Genre: **Humor/Romance/Suspense/Horror/Supernatural/Science Fiction/Fantasy

* * *

**Parings:**

Yami no Yuugi/Yuugi (hinted) (SLASH!)  
Yami no Malik/Yami no Bakura (SLASH!)  
Anzu/Honda  
Pegasus/Various Inanimate Objects (Hey! We said it was weird.)  
Anzu/Pegasus (for a record time of _ONE- MINUTE!_)  
Shizuka/Seto  
Jounouchi/Mai  
Isis/Yami no Yuugi (one-sided)  
Isis/Dartz  
Honda/Otogi (SLASH!)  
Anzu/Siegfried

* * *

**Warning:** Rated M (R) (Restricted) Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami no Bakura, Yami no Malik and Tristan's power tools.

* * *

_-Imperfect __Paradise__ (Yamiko) & Somebody Else (Mihoshi)_

* * *

The Ladybugs Have Turned Belligerent  
-  
By Imperfect Paradise & Somebody Else

* * *

-  
-  
-  
-

* * *

**-Chapter Two-  
**"Three Bakubunnies!"

* * *

_Day II – _

I am beginning to think we should have picked a larger hideout. The girls have declared the master bedroom and the adjoining bathroom "feminine space," and my Yami and Marik have disappeared into the bedroom Yugi and Yami have been haunting. I considered living in the closet in the hallway, but I think it would be far too uncomfortable to attempt sleeping in such a small space. So, lords have mercy on my soul because I'm stuck sharing the living room with Pegasus, Malik, Duke, Kaiba, Tristan and Joey. I've escaped to the kitchen for some quiet since it's at the end of the hall and therefore farthest removed from the loudest room (the living room, of course), but the walls are paper thin, so it's somewhat pointless. At least they can't read over my shoulder.

Pegasus is even more drunk than usual and is constantly banging his damn mallet. My Yami has left me to do god only knows what, but let's just say I'm unspeakably thankful that we found a way of creating separate bodies for ourselves, because I'm quite sure he's either mutilating himself or masturbating. Either way, I'm glad I'm not a part of it. Unfortunately, I still have to listen to the occasional screams and groans, which I'm sure, are coming from either him or Marik. Such noises usually prompt Duke to show off loudly to Mai who ignores him by either flirting madly with Joey or, more often then not, a mirror. Of course, every time Mai sees a mirror she declares herself the most beautiful thing in the world, which prompts Pegasus to bang his mallet loudly and declare "The court denies that motion!" So, all in all, things are pretty loud. Especially since about a half an hour ago, Kaiba lost his laptop (or rather, noticed he lost it. I suspect that Mokuba stole it sometime last night) and has been turning everything upside down in his quest to find it. I'll have to clean the room while everyone sleeps. God knows I won't get anything done with them awake. At least Joey and Tristan are calm. They've been having staring contests all day.

The other room is pretty quiet (excepting the occasional groan and the even rarer scream), but that's the room that my dark half and Marik are in. So, I would rather die than go in there. However, Yami and Yugi don't seem to mind. The last time I saw them they were sitting in the corner, and to the best of my knowledge, they haven't come out. I suppose they're still having the same conversation they were having yesterday. I doubt they even notice that Marik and my dark half had joined them.

Then there are the girls. Tea and Serenity have disappeared into the "feminine space" and have not come out in ages. Although, if I sit in the pantry, I can hear distinct beeping sounds, which sound a lot, like a computer game of some sort. It's quiet, of course, but it's definitely there. Of course, Mokuba is nowhere to be found, so I suspect he's abandoned his older brother in favor of cleaner living quarters (and I just KNOW the girls have better housekeeping skills then the monkeys in the living room-- they can't be worse).

At least I'll be able to keep the bathroom clean. I think Duke, Kaiba and I are the only men planning on showering. Pegasus would probably be interested under normal circumstances, but he and his mallet are too far-gone. I don't know WHAT the hell my dark half, Yami, Yugi, and Marik are doing but they don't seem interested in stopping any time soon.

My antidepressants are working their way out of my system.

_End of Entry_

_

* * *

_

_Day II – Second Entry_

I'm losing my fucking mind. Pardon my French, but as I passed the doorway to the guest bedroom, I swear to god I saw _another _me and I know that It wasn't my Yami because he was, at that moment, screaming his head off while doing unspeakable things to Marik. Well, they might be speakable, but if somebody actually thought of a word for doing _that_ with a millennium rod... there must be a very sick person in this world.

Then again, who am I to talk about sanity when there's yet another version of me wandering around in bright red robes, eating what looked like _raw garlic_? I also noticed he had a scar on his cheek which I'm pretty damn sure isn't on my own. Then again... mirrors are tricky. You can never tell if they're showing you yourself or one of those evil dog mirror demons they keep in the mirror world to fool the spiders... Well, at least that's what Joey says. Oh, god I don't believe I've been listening to the things Joey says. No wonder I'm hallucinating! Ugh... I need my Zoloft. Or maybe some nice Thorazine.

_End of Entry_

* * *

He was frigid down to his very heart. Yes, his pale hair could easily be mistaken for spun ice, and anyone who dared look him in the eye would surely be frozen for what they saw there. And on a dark night, when the stars shone from the sky like distant icicles, he couldn't see it because he was in the fridge. Which is a shame, because Thief Bakura looked really, really good in the starlight. And heterosexual. Um… Let's make that very, Heterosexual… So, a VERY HETEROSEXUAL Bakura sat in the fridge murmuring to himself... 

"Yes," he grinned, as he ripped a chuck of raw garlic between his teeth. "My plan is flawless this time. I cannot believe I didn't see it before." He attempted to pace back and forth in the fridge, but he couldn't even stand up as his head made contact with the vegetable crisper. Yes, the authors do realize that this Bakura is _very_ flexible, but he's also HETEROSEXUAL, although he has no interest in any of the brainless bimbos available to him. This does not make him any less HETEROSEXUAL. He is 'completely' HETEROSEXUAL!

Any who, back to Thief Bakura.

His head hit the edge of the vegetable Crisper. He cringed a bit, and shook his fist at it, "When I rule the Earth, you shall come first!" He then grinned sadistically again. "Yes... it was here all along! I was a fool not to realize it sooner! Yes! YES!" He opened the box, his irises emblazed with flames. He opened the box, to reveal...

"LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING DVD -- Platinum Special extended edition." (He whispered the last part to the audience) He then inserted the disk into Mokuba's stolen PS2 equipped with LCD screen and started to watch.

_It began with the forging of the great rings... Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings—" _Bakura suddenly paused the DVD. He hissed, "WHAT! THREE!" He looked down at his single Millennium Ring. He looked around the fridge and hissed, "I MUST GATHER THE OTHER RINGS OF POWER! I SHALL SEARCH THIS ENTIRE HIDEOUT!" 'In the mean time,' he thought to himself, 'I shall make money to fund my evil takeover (which will require live babies for blood sacrifices, nuclear weapon components, guns, numerous slaves and concubines, and COOKIES!' "SQUEE!" (CRASH!) Bakura glared angrily up at the vegetable crisper and vowed "You will be the first to die at my hands after my coronation! MWAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHA! _MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

Moreover, as evil laughter rang throughout the hideout (emanating mysteriously from the fridge), nobody woke up. Except for Mokuba who crawled in bed with Tea, insisting that there was a polar bear in the kitchen. And the poor cucumber who trembled in fear of the thief king's threats. Or it could have been mutating. You never know with cucumbers.

* * *

- TO BE CONTINUED-

* * *

**Random Note: **Stay tuned for the next chapter. 


	3. Chapter 3: Windows Sux

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything—please don't sue.

* * *

**Plot:** Well, Weevil has taken over the world—but no need to fear! Yami will save the day!  
You do know how, don't you? (-Yuugi)  
(opens his mouth, then stops) (-Yami)  
Well, maybe not… Told from the diary entries of the highly opinionated Ryou Bakura, currently off his antidepressants and third person narrative during the adventures of the HETEROSEXUAL Thief Bakura. Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami Bakura, Yami Malik and Tristan's power tools.

* * *

**Genre: **Humor/Romance/Suspense/Horror/Supernatural/Science Fiction/Fantasy

* * *

**Parings:**

Yami no Yuugi/Yuugi (hinted) (SLASH!)  
Yami no Malik/Yami no Bakura (SLASH!)  
Anzu/Honda  
Pegasus/Various Inanimate Objects (Hey! We said it was weird.)  
Anzu/Pegasus (for a record time of _ONE- MINUTE!_)  
Shizuka/Seto  
Jounouchi/Mai  
Isis/Yami no Yuugi (one-sided)  
Isis/Dartz  
Honda/Otogi (SLASH!)  
Anzu/Siegfried

* * *

**Warning:** Rated M (R) (Restricted) Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami no Bakura, Yami no Malik and Tristan's power tools.

* * *

_-Imperfect __Paradise__ (Yamiko) & Somebody Else (Mihoshi)_

* * *

The Ladybugs Have Turned Belligerent  
-  
By Imperfect Paradise & Somebody Else

* * *

-  
-  
-  
-

* * *

**-Chapter Three-  
**"Windows Sux!"

* * *

_Day III – _

Apparently, it _was_ Mokuba who stole Kaiba's laptop. Last night I had just finished organizing the living room (which involved moving around several sleeping people) and I was passing by the girls' room on my way to the kitchen so I could get the cleaning supplies I needed for the bathroom— when I heard Kaiba's voice.

* * *

"I KNEW IT! YOU GIRLS ARE NOT SO INNOCENT, AFTER ALL! _I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!" _

The noise traveled through the ultra thin walls, and woke EVERYBODY UP!

Duke sat up in his sleeping bag, upon hearing the infamous screaming of Kaiba, and shook Joey next to him. He hissed, "Joey! I think I heard a noise!"

Joey rolled over on his stomach, smiled and said, (his eyes still closed—indicating that the fool is still asleep) "I want some milk and cookies please…" And instantly went back to snoring.

Pegasus, still banging the mallet up and down, a funny bunny plushy clutched to his chest looked at him curiously and asked "What did you hear?" and kept banging the mallet once every two seconds continuously.

Duke stared at him for about two seconds, registering what was going on. He then rolled his eyes, just before he cursed and muttered, "God Damn Mallet..." and quietly went back to sleep, while Pegasus's mallet continued to make rather loud contact with the cold, tiled Earth.

Meanwhile, Serenity had finally gotten Kaiba to calm down. Serenity looked at him dead in the eye and spoke calmly, "Actually, it was Mokuba. Now shut up, you'll wake everyone up!" With that, she went back to typing on his computer, Kaiba's temples continuing to go.

Kaiba hissed, "I want that computer!"

Serenity snapped at him, not taking her eyes off the screen, "Let me finish with it! I spent all day checking Mai and Tea's e-mail for them, because all they use is stupid Windows!"

Kaiba clutched his fist tightly and yelled, "I don't care and—"but suddenly, something came to his attention. He stared at her peculiarly and cleared his throat before asking, "You know how to operate Linux?"

Serenity, rolled her eyes, turned to him and explained, "Hello? Can't you see? I am surfing the freaking internet…"

Kaiba stared at her dead in the eye, (just to make sure) and confirmed, "You mean you _aren't_ an evil, brainwashed minion of the satanic Windows?"

Serenity pointed at herself and hissed, "Do I _look_ like I'm under the control of the Blue Screen of Death?"

Kaiba just stared at her for a few moments. Neither of them dared to speak.

…

…

And a couple more moments…

…

…

He then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He cried through tearing eyes, "I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!" He then held her in one arm, crushing her against him, looked beyond her shoulder and held his fist up. He said aloud, "I HAD GIVEN UP HOPE ON FINDING A WOMAN AS SELECTIVE AND INTELLIGENT AS I AM! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR ALL MY LIFE!" He then pulled away from her, looked intently into her eyes, and asked, rather quickly, "Will you bare my children?"

Serenity just stared at him, her eyes wide. She then pulled away even more and said, uneasily, "Yeah… Sure— just let me check my e-mail..." Her eyes scanned it. She then hissed, "Damn solicitors. Can't they get it by now that I don't care?" Her eyes then read one particular message. She then glared at the computer. She spoke, dryly, "No… I _do not_ want a five-inch penis!" With that, she deleted them all. She then looked directly at Kaiba and smiled, "All right, let's go..."

Kaiba grabbed her hand in his—and they do the romantic eye crap. He spoke, seductively, "Let's…"

(Tiny Dancer plays in the background)

With that, they went into the empty closet in the hallway and closed the door. Floating hearts appeared from the cracks of the door and someone that sounded like Serenity moaned, "Oh, Kaiba..."

* * *

As you can see, even if I did magically become a contortionist overnight, I couldn't move out of the living room. Well, maybe the pantry. It's not like there's much food in there, since Malik has hidden all the canned goods in his room, and Pegasus has hoarded all his wine in "The Judicial Chamber" (which is a sloppily erected pillow fort). I'm sure the girls have their own stash of food, since they hardly ever make an attempt to get things from the kitchen. I imagine they used it to bribe Mokuba into betraying his brother. 

The beeps from the pantry continue, although Kaiba and Serenity took the laptop into the closet with them. I wonder if missing my anti- depressants is taking a larger toll on me than expected. Either way, I'm saner than Joey. He recently found his rubrics cube has gone missing, and he's tearing apart the living room looking for it. At least the bathroom is mostly clean. Yugi, Yami, Kaiba, Malik, Duke, and I have all showered today and the bathroom still remains mostly neat (partly due to the fact that they all took their towels back to their respective sleeping quarters). I'll probably give it a quick once over tonight, just for the sake of keeping busy.

I'm proud to say I managed three hours sleep last night before Pegasus woke up at the crack of dawn and started screaming that the court should rise to greet him. Oh, and today when Pegasus moved his hair out of the way, I noticed his Millennium Eye was missing. I don't believe he's noticed.

_End Diary Entry_

* * *

Bakura gleefully licked the Millennium Eye, his latest acquisition. "Hm…" he glared at his Ring and his new Eye. "I still need a third ring." He glared at them some more as if _they_ were supposed to produce one. 

…

"DAMNIT WHAT'S WRONG! DID I GET YOU THE WRONG GENDER OR SOMETHING!" He glared at them evilly.

…

He then jumped back, realizing something. "Oh! Uh… that's Okay then… I'll get something else from somewhere… Ah-heh-heh… Ahem—sorry guys." Bakura finished off his soda while contemplating what he could use for another "ring." He muttered, "God… there's nothing powerful and easily accessible around here." With that, he tossed the soda bottle.

…

Then something interesting came to his attention.

"MWAHAHAHA!" With that, he seized the bottle of Bawls and held it close. "YES! YOU, HOLDER OF THE 'ALMIGHTY' LIFEBLOOD THAT IS CAFFIINE! YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING MY RING! MWAHAHAHAH!" With that, he lined up his three rings with a huge, evil, HETEROSEXUAL grin on his face. Thief Bakubunnie turned towards his PS2, all of his HETEROSEXUAL teeth revealed, his eyes glinting maliciously and without a word, switched the PS2 on…

…

But nothing happened…

Enraged, he hollered, "YOU PIECE OF CRAP!" He flailed his HETEROSEXUAL arms around, accidentally knocking over the empty bottle of Bawls, hitting the edge of the LCD Screen, causing it to switch on. (The PS2 Logo flashes across the screen) He paused for a moment, before seizing the bottle (which had landed in the meat vender) and holding it to his chest. "Yes," he spoke, stroking it, "I knew I made the right decision by appointing you as supreme ring being." With that, the Lord of the Rings theme played again…

_The World has changed… I feel it in the water… I feel it in the Earth… I can smell it in the—_

Bakura narrowed his eyes and hissed, "I feel you are an idiot…" and hit the R2 button (the fast forward button for those who are PS2 illiterate) and fast-forwarded through the boring crap. He then paused at where he left off… He grinned even more sadistically then before.

_Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings._

He grinned evilly (while staring at his three "valuables"), Running a hand through his hair, he said "If I do say so myself…" Ladies and Gentleman, Keep in mind, that he is HETEROSEXUAL!

_–Seven, to the dwarf lords, _(Bakura's mouth dropped) _great miners, and craftsmen of the—_

He cried into the air, "GOD DAMNIT!", kicked it, and accidentally turned it off… (Luckily, for him, his PS2 is custom, made out of Gundanium Alloy—he'd needed Gundanium Alloy, because under normal circumstances involving a very HETEROSEXUAL Thief Bakura alone with it in the fridge, and possibly, a mutated cucumber, it would shatter.

* * *

- TO BE CONTINUED-

* * *

**Random Note: **Stay tuned for the next chapter. 


	4. Chapter 4: Apricots

**Disclaimer: **Neither of us own anything. For more information, please call 1-800-DON-TSUE! (Note: This is not a real number, We sincerely hope you're aware of that…)

* * *

**Plot:** Well, Weevil has taken over the world—but no need to fear! Yami will save the day!  
You do know how, don't you? (-Yuugi)  
(opens his mouth, then stops) (-Yami)  
Well, maybe not… Told from the diary entries of the highly opinionated Ryou Bakura, currently off his antidepressants and third person narrative during the adventures of the HETEROSEXUAL Thief Bakura. Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami Bakura, Yami Malik and Tristan's power tools.

* * *

**Genre: **Humor/Romance/Suspense/Horror/Supernatural/Science Fiction/Fantasy

* * *

**Parings:**

Yami no Yuugi/Yuugi (hinted) (SLASH!)  
Yami no Malik/Yami no Bakura (SLASH!)  
Anzu/Honda  
Pegasus/Various Inanimate Objects (Hey! We said it was weird.)  
Anzu/Pegasus (for a record time of _ONE- MINUTE!_)  
Shizuka/Seto  
Jounouchi/Mai  
Isis/Yami no Yuugi (one-sided)  
Isis/Dartz  
Honda/Otogi (SLASH!)  
Anzu/Siegfried

* * *

**Warning:** Rated M (R) (Restricted) Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami no Bakura, Yami no Malik and Tristan's power tools.

* * *

_-Imperfect __Paradise__ (Yamiko) & Somebody Else (Mihoshi)_

* * *

The Ladybugs Have Turned Belligerent  
-  
By Imperfect Paradise & Somebody Else

* * *

-  
-  
-  
-

* * *

**-Chapter Four-  
**"Appricots!"

* * *

_Day IV – _

Well, today Duke tried to hide Pegasus's hammer from him, holding it for ransom and demanding his armbands back (They were conspicuously missing this morning). On an interesting and disturbingly relevant note, I saw another version of myself again and I think "I" might have stolen them. However, this _other _me seems more like my Yami. In addition, I noticed that he was hiding several shiny things (shiny, for I saw glints of light emanating from them) under his clothes—or, in the words of Joey "BLING! VV007!" I know what you're thinking, but my Yami is _definitely _still locked up with Marik. Moreover, I know I'm not just seeing myself in the mirror because Joey has destroyed all the mirrors. He said something about trying to fool the evil dog demons they keep in the mirror world to fool the spiders into not eating the mosquitoes. What he doesn't realize is that he's wearing a headband with dog-ears on it. I don't know who put the ears on him, and I don't know how he managed to _NOT NOTICE_, but there you have it. Of course, Mai is furious. She _really _likes mirrors. Her shrieking was only rivaled by Duke's. I swear he was _not_ born male. It kind of makes me pity Pegasus that he was so completely humiliated by a guy who isn't even a guy.

Of course, Pegasus said he knew nothing of the missing adornments tried to read Duke's mind and (of course) failed miserably. Because where the seat of his power once lay, there is now nothing but a gaping, bloody hole. Mai and Tea, being the sensitive, caring people they are, made him a makeshift eye patch out of one of Joey's shirts. Also, after much screaming on Pegasus' part, (and much eye rolling on the girls' part), they even drew little funny bunnies on it with colored markers (where they got art supplies, I don't know). Of course, Pegasus needed a new look to go with the eye patch, so the girls gave him a makeover.

They let him keep his suit, but made him take off the shirt under it (you know, the one with the ruffles that only a flaming homosexual would wear-- I was surprised when I realized that Pegasus was not only straight but had, at one point, been married). They altered the suit a bit so that the pants rode low on his hips, and then they altered the jacket so that it showed considerably more of his chest. Then they heavily outlined his remaining eye in dark kohl. Lastly, they pulled back his hair so that the world could see his happy, shining face (Tea's words-- NOT mine!). I believe the girls are much better equipped to deal with boredom then they let on.

The overall effect is that he is now under the delusion that he is The PIRATE Judge Pegasus (yes, he even screams "PIRATE" when he says it), even though he still hasn't found his mallet. He's resorted to banging his funny bunny plushy on things. He looks so pathetic I'm almost want to tell him that I saw Duke put the mallet in the bottom of his sleeping bag ('his' referring to _Pegasus's_) But only _ALMOST_. I have finally gotten rid of the headache I didn't even notice I had. Nevertheless, before my moment of relief, there was this one problem when it briefly became decapitated. Thank god for Tea—who brought out some masking tape (Jesus Christ, where do they keep all of this?)

Shortly after the Pirate Judge had his makeover, Duke's die went missing, and he immediately blamed Pegasus. However, I couldn't help noticing that Mokuba seemed to be hanging around Duke's area a lot. While they were fighting over the missing die, trench- coat clad Kaiba (and I would like to add that a trench coat is ALL he was wearing) snuck out and snagged a bottle of Chardonnay. This broke out a whole new fight, giving Mokuba the opportunity to snag a bottle of merlot. Of course, they're stealing these bottles from a sloppily erected pillow fort that The PIRATE Judge Pegasus has dubbed "The Judicial CHAMBERS, DAMNIT!" Of course, he may have only said the last part because he accidentally dropped and broke a bottle of wine on his foot. After which he mysteriously screamed "_NO!_ _CECELIA!"_ I think he's the only one here who needs therapy more than my Yami. Except maybe Marik. Those two are both pretty creepy. On a side note, Duke and Pegasus are still bickering. The noise is persistent and obnoxious enough to bring my headache. Don't get me wrong—I _do _want my Zoloft—but I want aspirin even more—god damnit…

My Yami stopped by to ask what happened to our millennium ring, but neither one of us are overly concerned since it no longer contains a soul, and therefore is useless (it needs soul energy to feed off before it can do anything). His reasons for wanting it is because he wants to pose like Rose from Titanic for Marik—however, (to them) no romantic moment is complete without the use of shiny, sharp, dangerous and (if possible) blood-coated objects. Just thinking about that sickening display makes me glad that it is gone. I also noticed that when Yugi and Yami took their showers, neither had their millennium puzzle. Malik's Millennium Rod has also gone astray. He tried to ask Marik but wasn't brave enough to open the door and split for the safety of the Living Room.

Other items conspicuously missing: Malik's armbands (He's erected a pillow fort with pillows stolen from The Judicial CHAMBERS, DAMNIT! and is lobbing dried apricots at all who look at him), several spoons from the kitchen, and half of Marik's can opener (DON'T ASK).

The beeping from the back of the pantry persists.

* * *

"Yes… YES! I HAVE GATHERED THE TEN RINGS OF POWER! MHU-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bakura's eyes gleamed wickedly (and awkwardly enough, they were bright metallic red). After ten minutes of evil laughter, (Damn—how exactly does everyone sleep through all of this? The world may never know…) 

(in the other room)

Ryou is rocking back and forth—his eyes are wide open. He is whispering while shaking, "Zoloft... I want… my Zoloft…"

(Back to THIEF Bakubunnie)

With that, he stopped in his laughter. O.O? " Now what?" He pondered for a moment. "Oh yes—the DVD!" With that, he reached for the DVD with his HETEROSEXUAL hand and inserted it into the PS2. The PS2 logo flashed across the screen…

But then it went black.

Bakura narrowed his HETEROSEXUAL eyes and hissed, "Shit… Not again…" With that, he reached into his red robes and pulled out a large battery. He opened of the adapter in which the PS2 was hooked up to, and pulled out the battery. He tossed it over his shoulder, however, since our HETEROSEXUAL Bakubunnie _was_ in a very confined space, it just ricocheted off the wall behind him and hit him in the head (making a slightly echo-y "thunk"- type sound that made you wonder in there was anything in there.) Growling, Thief Bakura threw the battery out of the fridge where it skidded to a halt in the doorway of the kitchen, and inserted the other one in. The DVD started up again; however, it wasn't what he expected.

_Yeah, um… the makeup was extremely difficult. We had several people assisting us—_

Thief Bakura muttered, "Oops. Wrong disk."

With that, he ejected the DVD and threw it out the door. The DVD (now shattered) joined the old battery, empty Nestle Drumstick wrappers, some Pokemon cards, garlic leaves and a Lucky Charms cereal box. Bakura smiled happily. He had traded some nice, shiny spoons to Tea for some of his favorite foods, and he had even managed to secure a more reliable means of income. Yes, he had found some rather interesting things to cultivate in the basement….

(The Flashback)

Joey had been sleepwalking when he fell into the basement. Which was strange because it had been almost noon, but considering dear Bakubunnie's own nocturnal tendencies, who was he to criticize? Joey had actually been crawling around behind the hot water heater in the kitchen and mumbling something about puppies and spiders when it had happened. Bakura had been watching Joey and wondering if it would be worth it to murder him and sell off his liver to Pegasus (he could sell the extra parts for food; although Bakura _seemed_ indiscriminate about what went into his mouth, he actually refused to eat any meat that had more then 10 fat, and Joey still had his puppy fat so he was at least 30). Then, quite abruptly, Joey wasn't there. Apparently, there was a hole behind the water heater that led to a basement that had never been repaired, but had instead been covered with a blanket. Like _that_ would keep people from falling through. Then again, who crawls around behind hot water heaters? Other then sleeping idiots nobody cares about, I mean.

Well, anyways, Bakura went to investigate, and what do you think he found? No, not gold. No, not a harem of well-trained concubines either. He found _mushrooms_. At first glance, they looked like Shitake mushrooms, but from the looks of the rats, they were actually something much more interesting. After giving the (still sleeping Joey) a boost out of the cave (Where he stupidly wandered into Tea's path as she rushed to the aid of a rather decapitated plush, thus creating a distraction that worked greatly to Bakubunnie's advantage), Bakubunnie managed to get a better look around the basement. At first, he didn't realize what was making the rats so high. At first he thought it might have something to do with the strange moss growing on the walls, but then it occurred to him that it might just be something about the water that seep from every crack in the room. On the other hand, maybe it was just the insane heat. Then Bakura sat down to think about and munch on an apparently harmless mushroom. Except that it _wasn't_ just a mushroom. Bakura didn't realize this until a few hours of philosophisizing with the local rats, but nobody was ever to know that. Bakura realized that as long as he was careful not to get addicted himself he could have a very useful source of income here. However, just to be sure, he decided to test the mushrooms out on the others the next day. After all, it _could_ be the heat.

With that in mind, he gracefully pulled himself back up into the kitchen and set off to steal some "rings."

(Flashback)

_Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest and fa—_

Bakura hit the fast-forward button (his HETEROSEXUAL eyes narrowing dangerously), but he didn't hold it for very long for he had come to the part where he had left off...

_Seven to the Dwarf Lords, Great Miners and craftsmen of the Mountain Holes... _

Bakura was about to do this evil laugh when—

_And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of men—who above all else, desire—_

POW! Bakura's HETEROSEXUAL fist made contact with the PS2, sending it into the meat crisper. His eyes were twitching dangerously. He remained this way for several seconds, until...

(Ten seconds later)

The sounds resounding through the halls went unheard by most (In Pegasus's case, hearing voices nobody else noticed was perfectly normal, and Joey was too stupid to realize that the noise was not, in fact, the spiders trying to break through the mirror shards. eye roll). Except, of course, for Mokuba, who crawled into Tea's bed this time insisting that the polar bear was having the Blue Eyes over for tea and they were plotting a revolution against Seto. Tea actually had to get up and make him hot cocoa to get him to go to sleep again. Of course, Tea wasn't surprised poor Mokuba thought that, what with the screams coming from down the hall and the moans coming from the closet. No _wonder_ the poor boy was scared. Tea decided to have a talk with everyone tomorrow.

About the same time Tea got Mokuba to go back to sleep, Thief Bakura had decided to calm himself down and watch the whole friggin' movie all at once so that there wouldn't be anymore nasty surprises.

* * *

- TO BE CONTINUED-

* * *

**Random Note: **Note! (Yamiko speaking) Please know that I cannot update this on my own. This is a partnership fiction with Somebody Else, and I can only work on this fiction while I am with her, and since we both have a life (meaning this is doubly hard to work on than my other fictions) you're _just _going to have to wait. 


End file.
